Before I Go To Sleep (S.J.Watson)

S.J. Watson

I closed my eyes and he kissed my eyelids, barely brushing them with his lips. I felt safe, at home. I felt as if here, against his body, was the only place in which I belonged. The only place I had ever wanted to be. We lay in silence for a while, holding each other, our skin merging, our breathing synchronized. I felt as if silence might allow the moment to last for ever, which would still not be enough.

What are we, if not an accumulation of our own memories? How will I feel, when I look in the mirror and see the reflection of my grandmother?

I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to my grief. It felt better, somehow, to be helpless. I didn’t feel ashamed.

I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too. Even if you can only find that happiness without me.

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